Remembering

I feel like Im about to die. Literally these past few weeks and especially now my entire life is flashing before my eyes. I remember chasing around my kindergarden crush around the playground until he cornered me and my friends. I remember in first grade my bestfriend Kaitlyn and I would eat lunch as fast as we could so we could spend as much time playing hopscotch to our own rules. I remember when being 6 was the best thing in the entire world because all I had to worry about was getting my routine right for the school talent show. I remember getting my tonsils out in second grade. I remember having the new teacher in third grade and she never taught us cursive and it was the year I got glasses. In fourth grade I remember art class and how watercolor was something I pretended to be good at. I remember in fifth grade I swore my classmates were the best and nothing could go wrong until my best passed away. I remember sixth, seventh and eighth grade were a blur of awkward moments, weird outfit choices, and a lot of changes with my body. (oh puberty..) Ninth grade was the year I did cross country in hopes of getting a tight body and tan skin. It was the year one of my closest friends made out with a boy 2 grades above it and bragged about it all the way up until summer break. Sophomore year I was on the dance team and was absolutely obsessed with the way others saw me. I was crazy with the idea of being flawless and I spent a lot of time that following winter upset with the way I had treated myself. Junior year was a year of change I handed in my dance uniform for a pair of tennis shoes and joined the track team. I was actually a really horrible hurdler but that didn't stop me from competing... and coming in near last every meet. I went to Europe and saw the Eiffel Tower, The Llouve Museum, and traveled all throughout Spain.  I got my first kiss and literally floated on cloud nine until the end of spring break. Senior year I finally blossomed and had a chance to be utterly happy. I was in Student Council and made a ton of friends with the underclassmen. I was the line captain for Legacy Show Choir with one of my loveliest  friends Ryan, and we went on to compete in Disneyland and brought home 5 gold trophies. I made a new friend who eventually became my boyfriend. (my FIRST boyfriend) We made countless memories together and I know even if we don't get back together it wont change my feelings for him. I remember graduating with high honors, with all of my family from Hawaii here to watch and congratulate me with flower leis. I remember being completely devastated when I found out that I didn't make it into BYU and driving to the middle of the desert and crying my eyes out. I remember a few weeks after that I felt resolved and good about my choice to go to Idaho. I remember my bestfriend Sam who has always stuck by my side and who I can tell everything to without fear of judgment. I remember this past summer as one with fireworks, swimming, dance parties and BBQs, red lipstick, tan skin, boating, kisses in the rain, hiking, staying out past curfew, cuddling in bed, a million and one movies, running, stargazing in the grass, bonfires, paint fights, potato races, beach trips, Disneyland, shopping, singing, crying, family and friends. These past years have, in so many ways, prepared me for the journey that lies ahead. With all the ups and downs of life I honestly couldn't have imagined making it this far. Looking back now I realize that my past is one that Im incredibly fond of, but the memories that lie ahead are something that Im more than ready for.