HAILEYANELA

It's been roughly 2 months since my last blogging endeavor. A break, a sabbatical, a leave of absence; whatever you wanna call it, I was on it. It wasn't something that had any forethought or planning, it came naturally and of it's own accord. I had become so busy with school, my frantic job search (that proved rewarding), my sister's pending nuptials, & all the other little things that seem to weasel their way into my life. Unconsciously I began to loosen the reins on my sweet site, and now 8 weeks later, I'm oh so glad I did. I'm going to be so bold as to say that I think blogging is a talent of mine, albeit mediocre. But talents, no matter big or small, are detrimental in our discovery of ourselves. Talents are to be nursed and nurtured so that they may be developed and strengthened, but there is a fragile balance that demands to be had. To obsess and nitpick over every detail of that talent causes for feelings of insignificance and worthlessness, bo...

Unbeknownst to myself, time has once again gotten the best of me. This semester has 2 meager weeks left to live, in which I'm to pack up & move apartments, ace my finals, bid adieu to my sweet Canadian, and GRADUATE (it's only my associates, but still...). what the heck. Somehow I've turned into this partial adult with responsibility who has to start planning for the future. Like can't I just be that 8 year old hailey with the Hit Clips and Britney Spears diary without a clue in the world? That'd be nice and easy.....but not exciting. And we all know how much I live for excitement and adventure.  I've dubbed my 20th summer as my summer of traveling, experience, intrigue, adventure, thrill seeking journeys, sunshine, and fun and festivities. My hellish "summer of '14" was the worst I've yet to endure and I fully plan on rectifying the season. I'll be in school and working for a good part of the warm months, ...

you know that lack of feeling? that completely desolate moment where indifference reigns king? I had that. It was at precisely 12:19 this morning. It came with the chime of a text message. The sender was one who's status in my books had been troubled to say the least. once upon a time that sender had emoticons decorating their name, as time ebbed on the emojis were erased and the name was left naked; finally when the name itself was too much to bear a single syllable word took it's place entirely. i remember when the chime would come and with it excitement and lip-bitten smiles. i remember when those smiles faded to furrowed brows and a grimace of disdain and I remember when that was all replaced with clenched fists, & silence was the only response you'd get from me. I had been a passenger aboard your emotionally traumatic train, all the while you had never told me the destination. and then came the exhaustion. I never knew that exhaustion and defeat would...

YAYYYYYYY! class is finally out and i've successfully survived my third semester as a college kid. praise. Now all that's left to do is pack up my room to move apartments and to pack to go home for the holidays! yippee! I'm seriously so stoked to have 2 weeks to veg and do a whole lot of nothing. there are so many things that I would do differently if I had the chance to start this semester over again, but on the plus side there are LOADS of things that I've learned from my dumb mistakes, and hidden gifts that I didn't realize I was blind to....so *drumroll for effect* here are my new favorite lessons and blessin's: never ever take good professors for granted. i've had the whole spectrum of teachers, from ones who I wish would adopt me as their child to teachers who couldn't be bothered to email me back. When you have a great professor who is passionate and teaches with gusto and life, take EVERY class they offer. no joke, I've had the s...

once upon a time there was a young girl named hailey. she was a (slightly) shy and naive thing and had a difficult time staying true to herself. one day she decided she didn't give a flying fruit cake anymore and went off the deep end...the end. okay so that story is completely made up  (maybe) and a hundred percent not true (kinda). but when I was younger, I really didn't have much self-confidence and my self-esteem really suffered. It wasn't probably until I came up to the Burg last fall; that I finally started to feel more at ease with who I was and really express myself in my truest form. so here on the blog I'm going to share some tips and tricks that have kept me confident and cool. (okay I'm not really cool at all) first) you have to remember that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is going through trials and struggles in their lives. We have all become masters at putting on a brave face and pretending as though we're absolutely fine and dandy. ...

just a  glimpse at my extraordinarily crazy summer. a word to describe this summer: wow. these past few months have just gone by in a complete blur. when I finished up my freshman year of college at BYU-I in april I felt like my summer was stretched out before me with a million different possibilities and a trillion days before I could even think about going back to school.  when I first came home it was different to say the least . I felt like the entire world had just shifted on it's axis and everything was topsy-turvy. I got a job, and realized I hated it in the same week. For the most part a lot of my high school friends were still back at college. And the new friends that I had made while in Rexburg, the ones that had seen be grow and change in those crazy 7 months, weren't by my side anymore. To put it lightly, I was incredibly lonely. So to ease my sense of misplacement and confusion I chose to adventure up to Provo, UT and enroll in BYU summer session. ...

A week ago I made the decision to go speak to my bishop concerning the confusion and frustration that I had been feeling for the past week or so. I explained to him that I had felt the need to  come up here to Provo, for some reason unknown to myself, but now I was doubting my decision to move away for the summer. I had many unrealistic expectations that weren't met, so I was frustrated with my situation to say the least. With all this unnecessary pressure building up we decided that I needed to axe a few things in my life. First on my "purge" list was social media. I would like to freely admit that I spend WAY too much time on my phone, bouncing between Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, there were so many things I could be doing with that wasted time. So with the determination to relieve myself of inessential burdens, I deleted all three apps from my phone. Okay, so I know I probably should have completely deactivated my accounts, but I wanted to see if I could manage to...

So I am fully aware that I am blatantly stealing the title of The Hobbit, but it just fits my situation so perfectly that I had to... Well as mentioned in my previous post I was becoming more committed to the idea of staying here over the summer and just working until I leave back up to school. But with the start of a new job comes a new attitude. This past weekend I had just started my employment with a local daycare, and I thought that I would absolutely love it. I had gone there way back when I was only a small nugget. But to my surprise and dismay I wholly disliked the job (that's putting it lightly). The people were great and the kids fun, but I just felt stuck. My thoughts regarding my job there were jumbled and lost, and it didn't sit right with me. Then I could feel myself drifting back to the idea of attending BYU in June for summer semester. As much as I was trying to keep my outlook of Henderson positive, I will openly admit to wanting to get away. I felt like I was...

So this morning as I was getting ready for school I was desperately trying to keep my eyes open and awake as I yanked a sweatshirt over my head and hopped into a pair of skinny jeans. I tried to run my fingers through my damp hair in hopes that it would detangle itself and not be knotty. (wow Im so punny) This was all going down as my bread was in the toaster. Remember when you were a kid (or yesterday) and you would see the timer on the microwave tick down and you would try your hardest to get everything done before that annoying beeping started?  Yep that was me. Trying my hardest to get dressed and ready before my soon to be toast popped up. And for those of you that eat toast (I'm assuming probably all of you) know that there is a very small time window in which you have to butter your toast or it will be too cold and then you will be left with a semi warm piece of slightly browned bread with a clump of cold hard butter in the middle. yep it's gross. Because that's exac...

So for my college English class we were given the  assignment to write a narrative essay about something that has changed us. Instantly my relationship came to mind, I knew that it was what I needed to write about. I needed to let it all out and let someone read it. So here it is, enjoy... Summertime Sadness Nick and Taylor’s relationship was the closest thing you could come to conventional. They were friends throughout their elementary years and as they made their way into high school their innocent and carefree friendship started to blossom into the possibility of something more. They went on many group dates and eventually became “official”. Nick has since left on a mission and my sister dutifully awaits his return all the while studying to become a music education major and planning the dream wedding we all know they’ll have. For Taylor this was her first relationship and first love and she knew instantly that her and Nick would be married and sealed for all eternity...