HAILEYANELA

*please note that this was written for my english class, where our professor wanted us to take an emotion and make it tangible and realistic for our audience. I embraced the challenge of the poem, and wrote what I believe to be an equivalent of depression. do not be alarmed, this isn't based off personal experience* The cover of night and the shadows envelope me. Physically and emotionally I belong locked in a closet, which was exactly where I sat. The hospitable darkness and gloom didn't object my arrival one bit.   I wanted to cling to the shadows; I was trying to embrace a passionate emotion, but was it the wrong one? My hands were preoccupied anyways.   A dull set of crafting scissors in one shaking hand. The other fisted up tight, tight enough to feel my nails biting my palm. The pain of an edgeless blade is not crisp and clear; it’s thick with jagged edges. Any attempt at not crying was pointless and futile. I didn't cry for the smooth under...

When I thought of forever I pictured bliss. Sure I know bliss is more of a feeling and not so much a scene but I just imagined bliss. Lots of smiling. The kind where your eyes crinkle in the corners and you put all your little white teeth on display. Lots of morning kisses, sunshine through the trees, fingers interlocked so tight that a whisper of air wouldn’t be able to pass between the pressed palms, forehead kisses that make you swoon and your eyes droop in pleasure, dancing in socks in the cold glow of the refrigerator light. I imagined secret looks and shared smiles across the table, slow and sleepy morning murmurs, late night pillow talks and goodnights instead of goodbyes. Borrowed button ups but never borrowed time, because you both knew exactly how each other felt. Unfortunately the bliss I was looking for, wasn't looking for me. There were late nights of aloneness and deprivation. Locked in bathrooms crying in the tub with the lights off wishing I hadn't given ...

Love is a tricky thing. It can make you feel like you’re on the top   of the world; soaring far above the clouds free of any concerns and  worries. It feels infinite, as if there is no ending and there was  no beginning, just a limitless existence. Some say that if the  timing isn’t exactly perfect, then that little infinity can’t even  be birthed into existence. But our little sliver of time was  seamlessly aligned with the stars. We grabbed the moment and ran  with it, unafraid of the consequences. Those short months were full  of an immense amount of love, laughter and tears. I felt everything  stronger and more powerfully than I ever had before. He taught me  how to love again even if the affection wasn’t mirrored. So thank  you for being my best heartbreak.

So with the start of a new term I've become incredibly busy....just kidding I'm only taking 6 credits, so in fact I'm just lazy and haven't gotten around to blogging. Anyways after dropping my Conversational Spanish class on the basis that I was the ONLY  non-returned missionary taking it, I decided to sign up for a Creative Writing course. I thought we'd be writing short stories, but to my surprise we're being forced to try our hand at poetry. I've actually found it to be sorta therapeutic and soothing; helping me to organize my thoughts. And being in a moment of relaxed judgment I've decided to share with you a poem I wrote. like it or not, here it is....... Making Wishes I am swaying in the wind with absolutely no real direction. I let the breeze bow me back forth. I don’t have a mind of my own. I am used to the nudging and gentle prodding of my surroundings. I easily bend to the quiet whisperings of the midday draft. M...