HAILEYANELA

Today marks 10 years since my dad died, an entire decade gone in the blink of an eye. I felt the sadness would last forever alongside people's awkward and embarrassed apologies. Yet somewhere along the way the sorrow was replaced with nostalgia and then with reminiscence. So rather than mope over my inevitable loss I complied a list of the top 10 lessons I've learned in the last 10 years. 1. Life isn't all lemons or lemonade. It's in my lowest lows that I swear my life is cruel, that the Fates have it out for me and I'll never know happiness. It's a tart lemon sans sugar and I'm bitterly gritting my teeth. I've had to accept that not every lemon will bear lemonade, & THAT'S OKAY. Without those painful lows I'd never appreciate my greatest highs. Biting the lemon makes the lemonade sweeter. 2. Lonely & Alone Being alone doesn't directly translate to loneliness. Learn to be comfortable without the presence of othe...

you know that lack of feeling? that completely desolate moment where indifference reigns king? I had that. It was at precisely 12:19 this morning. It came with the chime of a text message. The sender was one who's status in my books had been troubled to say the least. once upon a time that sender had emoticons decorating their name, as time ebbed on the emojis were erased and the name was left naked; finally when the name itself was too much to bear a single syllable word took it's place entirely. i remember when the chime would come and with it excitement and lip-bitten smiles. i remember when those smiles faded to furrowed brows and a grimace of disdain and I remember when that was all replaced with clenched fists, & silence was the only response you'd get from me. I had been a passenger aboard your emotionally traumatic train, all the while you had never told me the destination. and then came the exhaustion. I never knew that exhaustion and defeat would...

just a  glimpse at my extraordinarily crazy summer. a word to describe this summer: wow. these past few months have just gone by in a complete blur. when I finished up my freshman year of college at BYU-I in april I felt like my summer was stretched out before me with a million different possibilities and a trillion days before I could even think about going back to school.  when I first came home it was different to say the least . I felt like the entire world had just shifted on it's axis and everything was topsy-turvy. I got a job, and realized I hated it in the same week. For the most part a lot of my high school friends were still back at college. And the new friends that I had made while in Rexburg, the ones that had seen be grow and change in those crazy 7 months, weren't by my side anymore. To put it lightly, I was incredibly lonely. So to ease my sense of misplacement and confusion I chose to adventure up to Provo, UT and enroll in BYU summer session. ...

The Fault in Our Stars: the extremely depressing and soul wrenching love story of two cancer ridden teens who find themselves through each other. This movie is a must see for everyone. I know you'll ask, "But Hailey, why would I pay to bawl my eyes out and walk out post-movie emotionally drained?" Because dear readers, the story is much more than a tender love story. It is a story of defying the odds and taking charge of our own destinies. The phrase, "The Fault in Our Stars" stems from the classic Shakespeare play, Julius Caesar. Cassius speaks to his friend Brutus and says, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves..." He is telling him that the fault can't be placed on the shoulders of our situation. Fate happens, but our reaction to our position is what really matters. We hold the power in our lives to dictate what will become of us. We are underlings in the way that we victimize ourselves in a failing attempt to put ...

When I was still in high school and I imagined college, the first thing that came to mind was: freedom. No curfew, living by my own rules, and no "checking in". I was pumped to be my own guardian and ruler... Ok I know that sounds a bit exaggerative, but I was so ready to fly from my nest and not look back. And let's be real now, my first year of college was all that and more. I had amazing roommates, a comfortable apartment complex, and the only time I was "checking in" was to make sure, what we had dubbed the "couch boat", was clear for a cuddling sesh. I had gotten use to the semi-restrictive rules that our school Honor Code enforced, but regardless I felt like I was living the dream. I felt a sense of independence and liberty that I had never experienced when I had lived at home. The feeling had given me a glimpse of what life after college offered, a look into the near future where I could come home to MY apartment where I made MY own rules... Bu...

As this winter semester and my freshman year of college is coming to a close I have been reminiscing about all of the wonderful memories I've made and all of the fantastic people I've met. I've learned so much while I have been away from home. I’ve learned that if I want to get any amount of homework done my room has to be completely spotless. Or else my room and my brain will be cluttered. The key to not spending money on unnecessary things is to leave your wallet at home. Anything can be fixed with superglue. Spandex hot pants NEED to be worn under jeans in the wintertime or you WILL freeze. (This is a guarantee). The key to not buying a ton of random groceries is a shopping list….but even then you may deviate from it. Staying up until 3 in the AM then trying to drag through the day with the help of a Diet Pepsi doesn’t always work. Some people will become your friends, and sometimes you’ll make out with your friends. Living from one weekend to the next isn’t...