HAILEYANELA

Wow, life has been extremely hectic lately. I absolutely adore being on my own and being responsible for myself and feeling a new sense of independence, but college is really rather overwhelming. I have 6 classes which all require a substantial amount of homework and studying, and Im on the dance team which has practice twice a week and a football game that we perform at every week. Then theres my calling in my ward which calls for activity planning meetings. AND it's starting to snow... and it's still October. I really can't imagine living through Winter semester because even as I sit here in the semi-heated Ricks building my fingers are cold and numb. But besides the ever stressful situation with classwork the social aspect is something I'm not quite used to. In high school I had friends in every class so it made my day super fun and carefree. But in my college lecture classes sometimes Im one of only a handful of freshmen.. so being in a class full of older kids is s...

Have you ever been completely truthful with someone? Completely raw and unmasked? The only word I can use to describe it is naked. Im completely vulnerable and open, and it's almost like I'm just waiting for the assumptions and judgements. I can almost see you with surprise in your eyes like you can't imagine that the girl standing in front of you is actually me. Well it is. You're seeing me for the first time as me with no mask, no facade, no smile or twinkle in my eyes for me to hide behind.... And I have to be honest I kinda like this feeling of being free of the burden.

Ok. wow. I didnt realize that I haven't posted in about a week or so and sooooo much has happened! So my mom and I made the drive up to Rexburg in 3 days so that we could go shopping along the way, because I was (and still am) in dire need of more winter clothes! So Idaho is really lovely the people are friendly (mostly), the weather is nice (not anymore) and my classes are fun! (NOT) If you can't tell my first week wasn't something nice. I've been up every night doing homework til 1 in the morning, our FHE brothers and sisters are in their mid-twenties and don't want to hand out with little freshman, and to top it off Im trying to figure out what to do about my long distance ex-boyfriend.... Yep.

I feel like Im about to die. Literally these past few weeks and especially now my entire life is flashing before my eyes. I remember chasing around my kindergarden crush around the playground until he cornered me and my friends. I remember in first grade my bestfriend Kaitlyn and I would eat lunch as fast as we could so we could spend as much time playing hopscotch to our own rules. I remember when being 6 was the best thing in the entire world because all I had to worry about was getting my routine right for the school talent show. I remember getting my tonsils out in second grade. I remember having the new teacher in third grade and she never taught us cursive and it was the year I got glasses. In fourth grade I remember art class and how watercolor was something I pretended to be good at. I remember in fifth grade I swore my classmates were the best and nothing could go wrong until my best passed away. I remember sixth, seventh and eighth grade were a blur of awkward moments, weird ...

*starry eyed dreamer*

Im in the process of cleaning out and packing up my room so occasionally Ive being finding mementos from my childhood... jk its mostly old stuff from high school. But I did find a message in a bottle from my friend Rileigh from a beach trip she went on years ago. And as I was reading the message it spoke of how we had just started to become friends and how she was excited we had classes together freshman year...... now 4 years later here we are started freshman year of college together! wow time really has passed us by.

(trying to catch the last bit of summer sunshine)