Monday, March 20, 2017

2 Things I've Learned About Marriage (and myself)


Besides finding out that Luke is a really warm sleeper, I've learned two very important marriage and life-related lessons.

1. Marriage isn't transformative

Whoever thought that marriage would suddenly turn you into the *best* version of yourself, is a fool (@ me). Saying "I do" over the altar isn't going to transform you into the person you've always dreamed of being. It hasn't turned me into a healthy eater, someone who exercises 5x a week or into a goal-achieving megastar. It's done quite the opposite. marriage has exposed all my flaws and shortcomings and left me vulnerable. It's peeled back the facade of "having it all together" and revealed that I'm MUCH more selfish and egotistical than I believed. Now more than ever, I'm keenly aware of the parts of myself that need a little bit more fine tuning.

2. Marriage is a TEAM effort

Now that we've established my selfish tendencies, you can probably picture how difficult the "team" adjustment was. My time wasn't my own anymore. My schedule couldn't just consist of my personal to-do list. Now there's another person that needs to be taken into consideration. Marriage means coming together and depending on one another. It requires cooperation and collaboration; it's really made me check my independent I-can-do-this-myself attitude. But I've also learned how to rely on someone more than my mom. Luke is A L W A Y S there for me with love, lunch, and laughter. & there's no way in hell I could ever do life without him.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

10 Lessons I've Learned In The Last 10 Years






Today marks 10 years since my dad died, an entire decade gone in the blink of an eye. I felt the sadness would last forever alongside people's awkward and embarrassed apologies. Yet somewhere along the way the sorrow was replaced with nostalgia and then with reminiscence. So rather than mope over my inevitable loss I complied a list of the top 10 lessons I've learned in the last 10 years.

1. Life isn't all lemons or lemonade.
It's in my lowest lows that I swear my life is cruel, that the Fates have it out for me and I'll never know happiness. It's a tart lemon sans sugar and I'm bitterly gritting my teeth. I've had to accept that not every lemon will bear lemonade, & THAT'S OKAY. Without those painful lows I'd never appreciate my greatest highs. Biting the lemon makes the lemonade sweeter.

2. Lonely & Alone
Being alone doesn't directly translate to loneliness. Learn to be comfortable without the presence of others. You won't always be surrounded by friends and family so find solace from within.

3. Minutes Matter.
You could draft a 5-year, 10-year, 50-year plan, but that time isn't a guarantee. Life is made up of minutes: minutes of laughter and love, misery and melancholy, and minutes of silence. These minutes are momentary, as most minutes are. And once they've passed there's no going back. Keep careful watch of your minutes & be mindful of how they're expended.

4. Don't forget 2nd chances.
Be quick to forgive yourself when you trip and fall; don't declare defeat. Although the idea of giving up is a tempting one, DON'T SUCCUMB. Be your own sideline cheerleader and high kick your way to victory.

5. Don't be a floater.
With a short attention span and knack for being easily entertained, I've accrued an overabundance of so-so hobbies and distractions. They aren't things I'm profoundly passionate about, rather curiously fascinated. Roald Dahl, an author of great magnificence, said, "...If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be." With that slap on the knuckles from Dahl, I've had to ask myself (many times) "what do I REALLY care about?"

6. You are the master of your emotions.
NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FEELINGS.

7. Swallow your situation.
The only thing more unpredictable than Rexburg weather is life. Understand and appreciate where you're at in your life. More often than not I find myself wishing I was someone else someplace else. I still remind myself daily that God has a timeline for me that may not (usually doesn't) mirror the one that I've envisioned. I have to take stock of my surroundings, swallow my pride, and move forward in faith that everything will be all right.

8. Practice makes progress.
Contrary to the old adage, practice does not in fact make perfect. Practice makes progress. Regular practice and repetition yields growth; just keep moving forward.

9. Get outside yourself.
In times of internal distress the need to break from my "ME" cycle always arises. I get so consumed in my own well-being that I'm oblivious to the people around me. The world is SO much bigger than the inside of my head and every so often reality comes knocking.

10. Family is #1.
Gone are the days I lived under the same roof as my sisters, and oh how I miss them. I miss the sass and snuggles, the witty banter, the likemindedness, and the easy familiarity. I miss sleeping in my mom's bed and sneaking the pup upstairs. And even though I'm grown and fulfilling girlhood goals and learning how to adult, my family is and always will be my #1.


xoxo hails



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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

foreign for fall.

SO PUMPED to be spending my fall in Europe, studying abroad and inhaling countless carbs. I'll be traveling with the BYU-I College of Business and Communication to "Experience Europe", network, and search for possible internships. *crossing all my fingers*

Prepare yourself for the inevitable insta-overload coming to you September 2016.

big thanks to @jakenning for persuading me to apply & Sister Bergstrom for believing that I'll be a (semi) valuable contributor whilst overseas. You guys ROCK.

xoxo hails.


 
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