HAILEYANELA

Daniel is in no way deceptive, he just has a knack for making people look exponentially better. And in this case he made me look like a fully functioning adult in society whose life is in order, and that children, is the lie. With the passing of my 20th birthday I've come to terms with a few things: 1. I am two decades old, which is the same thing as ONE FIFTH OF A CENTURY, which is old. 2. I am no longer a teenager so I need to cut back on my allotted shenanigans.  3. I don't actually have be a boring grown up. I reject the notion that adulthood means conforming to bounds of routine and formalities. I shan't be shackled to society's ideas of maturity!...but seriously I'm typing this in polka dot stretchy pants and a slouchy tee with a sleepy french bull dog plastered on the front, whilst lounging on my child-sized froggy pillow seat.  I will continue to eat frozen gogurt for breakfast alongside my chocolate milk c...

It's been roughly 2 months since my last blogging endeavor. A break, a sabbatical, a leave of absence; whatever you wanna call it, I was on it. It wasn't something that had any forethought or planning, it came naturally and of it's own accord. I had become so busy with school, my frantic job search (that proved rewarding), my sister's pending nuptials, & all the other little things that seem to weasel their way into my life. Unconsciously I began to loosen the reins on my sweet site, and now 8 weeks later, I'm oh so glad I did. I'm going to be so bold as to say that I think blogging is a talent of mine, albeit mediocre. But talents, no matter big or small, are detrimental in our discovery of ourselves. Talents are to be nursed and nurtured so that they may be developed and strengthened, but there is a fragile balance that demands to be had. To obsess and nitpick over every detail of that talent causes for feelings of insignificance and worthlessness, bo...

Unbeknownst to myself, time has once again gotten the best of me. This semester has 2 meager weeks left to live, in which I'm to pack up & move apartments, ace my finals, bid adieu to my sweet Canadian, and GRADUATE (it's only my associates, but still...). what the heck. Somehow I've turned into this partial adult with responsibility who has to start planning for the future. Like can't I just be that 8 year old hailey with the Hit Clips and Britney Spears diary without a clue in the world? That'd be nice and easy.....but not exciting. And we all know how much I live for excitement and adventure.  I've dubbed my 20th summer as my summer of traveling, experience, intrigue, adventure, thrill seeking journeys, sunshine, and fun and festivities. My hellish "summer of '14" was the worst I've yet to endure and I fully plan on rectifying the season. I'll be in school and working for a good part of the warm months, ...

honestly I'm beyond ashamed. I've put my priorities on the back burner for far too long, and today I've dedicated the afternoon to restructuring my list of to-dos, with homework and blogging at the top of the list. I'm a tad lost for words for all that's happened this past semester. I've had too many friends get engaged or hitched (a big congrats to my favorite couple: Morgs & Jakey!!), the bestfriend's bday ( SAMMI LOVE , how are we getting so old?!), I successfully survived midterms without pulling apart (all) of my split ends, the snow looks like it's gone for good #PRAISE, I've contracted an unhealthy and unfortunate addiction to sweets (which is making it hard for my spring bod to appear...), had to hold off on my plasma donating because APPARENTLY my protein levels are low (which doesn't make sense because McNuggets have loads of protein right??), I've let my room become cluttered with laundry and life beyond recognition, I...

I was holding my breath. I remember that. It wasn't on purpose, but I think I was preparing myself for the inevitable. I broke down my hope so it couldn't be dashed by anyone other than myself. My fingers trembled but I forced them to still. I could feel the disappointment like an anchor tied to my heart but I refused to let it sink., not in front of them. Only after I pushed back the door did I let my eyes well. the dark street was barren and cold but inside me a storm raged. I think I had created this wondrous mock-reality in my head that I fully dreamt would unfold, but now that I've woken up I realize that my air-headed fantasy was foolish and a lost cause. I carefully laid all my eggs in a basket that proved to be an ignorant gamble. And so with my tail between my legs and my bleary eyes a bit swollen , I return to the drawing board.

where da bae @ doe... call me miley. xo hey there valentines. I hope joy and love was had by all! my Vday was spent in the company of the best girls a gal could have. we greeted the day a little past noon and decided that although we are all bf-less we could still dress up and go out, because Galentines is a VERY real thing!! we enjoyed dinner at a teriyaki grill, but sat at the restaurant for 20+ minutes without drinks BECAUSE THE WAITRESS FORGOT WE WERE THERE. ouch. Like sure the place was full, but the couples aren't more important than the 3-way girl date sitting in the corner... next to do on our list of festivities was a movie at 10:50 but by the time the clock chimed 10:30 Alice and I were more than content to stay home and cuddle on the couch, and Lam didn't mind in the slightest...so we finished the night off watching George Lopez reruns with some guy-pals and snackin on midnight cereal. And if the day ends with mi...

you know that lack of feeling? that completely desolate moment where indifference reigns king? I had that. It was at precisely 12:19 this morning. It came with the chime of a text message. The sender was one who's status in my books had been troubled to say the least. once upon a time that sender had emoticons decorating their name, as time ebbed on the emojis were erased and the name was left naked; finally when the name itself was too much to bear a single syllable word took it's place entirely. i remember when the chime would come and with it excitement and lip-bitten smiles. i remember when those smiles faded to furrowed brows and a grimace of disdain and I remember when that was all replaced with clenched fists, & silence was the only response you'd get from me. I had been a passenger aboard your emotionally traumatic train, all the while you had never told me the destination. and then came the exhaustion. I never knew that exhaustion and defeat would...